Things have changed... for good..

Something happened in Sept.. something that I kinda expected. It was like a gut feeling, with all the events rolling.. Took a last look & never went back.

Im still recovering.. anger, then helpless then realization that it should have happened aerlier.. been draggin for so long.. aimless is wat Im feeling now.. no directions..

Sometimw i wonder if my parents were not around.. will i be strong enough to survive in this world at all.. I have not felt real happiness for a long time.. u knoe likw happiness u felt as a child?? eating ice cream, watching tv??

Lost.. wonder when all this started? All did it start the moment i made the first mistake in life??? I really cant answer that question myself...

COLD HARD TRUTH

I just found the truth - men can never be trusted.

Yes, u can talk to them freely, they are not as petty as girls.
But they can never empathise with you on certain views.

Girls will stand by girls.. guys will stand by guys.

Doesnt matter who's in the wrong - that's just human nature.

Bottomline is - learn to protect yourself, im trying darn hard not to get myself affected, come on, im not born to suffer all this shit!!!

The world is really one messed up place to live in.. how many years do i have to tolerate before i leave for heaven????

Movie Marathon!!!

Has watched Despicable Me last Sat at cathay.. wanted to go watch at GV Jurong point but it was simply impossible to get good tix online. :(

Later on sunday found out that my dear's lil cousing also went JP to watch DM.. well, too bad we din know they watching also.. but the movie was greeaat!! I love it to bits!! Especially the lil girl with super huge eyes, she always have this adorable look that melts ur heart, aww.... sweet :)

Watched Hot tub time machine on tues at vivo to use the movie voucher.. wow, its really funny, bot those cheesy funny, but real funny.. havent had a good laugh for a long time.. had eaten carls junior with dear, then toy r us then movie.

Missed the wedding bridal show at JP, a bit sian..nonetheless, had a monologue discussion with dear late sunday & was super pissed with him.. forever nonchalant about the whole issue & the best part is when I asked him if he doesnt mind pushing the wedding date to 2012, he actually said he dun mind!! Super pissed with that!! Come on, the wedding oredi delayed for 2 years, still wanna wait.. The price is not going to drop for the banquet, & not as if we have a lot of money to just waste like that!! I really cant understans his rationale sometimes.. time is ticking!! my age is catching up, soon i dun think i even wana have kids loh.. duh...

Anyway, this whole thing is really been on my shoulders for the past year.. I kinda wanna get it over and done with.. all the so called dream about the perfect wedding is totally gone.. there can never be one.. my dreams are dashed since last year.. to me, the issue is try not to screw up the wedding.. make it presentable.. and make my self happy.. i know u cant both be happy at the same time but compromise la.. its always like that.. compromise if not, think we will die earlier if we continued to fight each other on opinions... im so tired of everything,, really wanna escape it all. but i know i cant just disappear like that much as i want to.. life is really a dread at times.. kinda envy those ppl who dun like to think & just live life as it is.. they are the realy happy people on earth loh...

Haiz.... endless complaints.. i know i know... its a vicous cycle , never stop ending until the day i die, damn it.

July ~~ a month that may change some things...

This month was quite uneventful (minus the WC) except for one thing that happened at work.. It made me wake up literally, it's really time to move on..

I just realise the chinese saying : " yi shi zhu chen qian gu hen". Yeah, in this society, one cant make a single mistake, one is enough to cause deadly consequences..
Working life wasnt rosy for me at the start, din have much luck in getting good jobs.. i wonder why.. im not ambitious but somehow i always feel that im not appreciated.. is it because my position is not high in the 1st place, which made me rather dispensable?? or becos i dun "paw" over my superiors which is why im not the favoured one??

Anyway, life is full of unfairness, u see it everywhere.. some ppl may not be capable but they rose to a high position.. some may be pretty so they get all the perks.. well, i think this is cslled REALITY, which i really need to wake up & face the cold hard truth.

But, im seriouly going to do something to change my life.. Almost sent a resume but find my photo damn hilarious, my eyes are like forced to stare & looks quite like a joker.. maybe thats y pple may think im like crazy & dind even get much interviews, hahaa!!

Things are going to change for sure, i know i had to do something , not jus talk n whine, i m simply wasting too much time.. & watever little youth i have left...

June Ramblings

It's been a while since I update the events happening recently.

Shall do a recap now..

1st week of June - attend Ms P. wedding, it was lovely, small but cosy affair which u seldom see nowadays as ppl usually make their so GRAND.. another pair also ROM this week which is my dear's buddy, really glad for them cos they have been tgt or abt 8 years... almost the same period as me n Dear :)

2nd week of June - Went tokyo for 8 days ( 2 days of flying, never take transit, it sucks!). Spent so much money i dun dare to calculate liao.. but now really poor loh..

3rd week - came back from tokyo, took mc on friday cos was so tired n having a bad cold.. was shocked to return company & found that policies were changed again.. sian.. really low morale.. I feel that i dun have any directions in my career now.. it's like in a standstill.. very lost now.. sat spent to celebrate belated day fir dear at cwp, ate at breeks :)

4th week - catch up wif ms P. at cityhall on friday, n uni frens on sat.. had fun chatting & playing mj :) celebrated me & dear 1st year anniversary since ROM, time really flies, it's been 1 year already...

Week one of May

Wow, first week of may went by in a breeze. First labour day was like nothing, I hate sat holidays, so not worth it!!!

On last friday, went to join dear to haf a drink at the usual pub... was supposed to leave at ard 12 but a VIP banker came so we stayed till 2 am.. was so shagged when we rch home at 2.30am but i still managed to drag myself to work on sat, Im amazed by myself.. Afternoon had chicken rice and met up with CS to pick up the scrapbook.
Dinner was spent at boon lay's wen yan lou..

Food there was not bad thou i expected to b slightly better. Vut overall, it was still better than some of the wedding dinners at those so called 4 star hotels...

Sunday was spent eating at Mac with Dear.. Lunch was high tea ritz carlton for my fren's Miss M hen lunch.. Its my 1st time there & the service is really good!! Wld love to go there again .. so thats the end of the week for me :) More busy for the rest of may, so many ppl getting married!!!

Eating marathon

Had a full stomach the whole day yesterday..

Went to celebrate SH birthday at Sun with Moon. Food was surprsingly not bad & the price is affordable.. Ambience oso not bad... has a great chat with the gals as we havent met up for more than a month..

Next is mahjong session, waiting for YJ to arrange, looking forward to it:)


Dinner was at a coffeeshop selling zi char.. it was considered famous & we had to wait 1 hour for them to serve the dish.. luckily we had satay to satisfy our hunger irst.. overall, food was okay but the chilli crab abit disppointing cos the gravy not so thick.

PS: Dear won $150 in mahjong today.. haha so the whole dinner was free.. and mami actually paid for the dinner, haiz.. dear dear was like so awkward

Eventful events in March & April

Haha... my english damn champion.. eventful events, haha!!

Anyways, jus for updates..

March: nothing much except for a wedding of my dear's fren at goodwood park hotel
( the dinner was ok & I like their montage, its "live" cos the photographer keep taking pictures & upload it to show it onscreen.. haa.. and i saw my so-not-glamorous face on screen too

April: went to see Jayrus & Zobel.. the babies of my cousin-in-laws.. so cute, the boy has sharp features n the gal has a fiery temper..haha, got so much character
Dear took me to eat dessert at chinatown point.. nice :) gonna gon try other stuff again..
17th apr: went to geylang police station cos dear needs to collect his dropped hp.. but the hp was in the HQ.. stupid lor.. but luckily we din waste the trip.. took the circle line on its 1st day and went to eat dim sum at geylang :)
21 apr: went to eat sushi tei at china sq.. thomas was working that day so support him :)


Thats all folks !!

Wishes on the wedding list

I am considering a lot of things at the moment..
Everytime i think of too many things at one go, i just feel my head is gonna feel really painful after a while..

1) to go online and file my tax.. shit, i lost my form so im gonna calculate myself... duh.. and gona do it for Dear too.. sucks..
2) i really wanted that hotel.. but dear is not receptive how?? im gona be very sad if its not held at that hotel
3) the food looks delicious & I really want my guest to enjoy the food on my wedding day & rave abt it even years later! hee.. cos im gona be happy hearing that many years down the road
4) seriously considering not to hold any banquet if i cant get my dream wedding banquet venue.. dear was like: " am I serious?" after seeing my face, he knows I am.
5) thinking of so many constraints in terms of budget that i feel like time can just stop & let me save enough money for the wedding .. it sucks everytime when i feel that i cant have what i dream of.. weddings are supposed to be happy events but somehow im still not feeling it.. starting to feel sorry for myself :(
6) my kneecap is now feeling painful.. must be rheumatism .. duh... am I dat OLD?

A vey negative entry... sorry if any1 happen to read this.. dun mean to spoil ur mood

Weekend munchies...

Been eating alot these past few days..

Friday- catch up with JC frens at a jap restaurant famous for its soba but it was quite dissapointing.. the tempura was still ok la.. went to meet my Dear at a pub & went home with him very drunken.. still went to mac for supper cos Dear was super hungry & grouchy. In the end, i ate some fries, causing me to have difficulty sleeping.. yikes!!

Sat - went back after work to have pizza hut with Dear... we order curry chicken pizza & baked rice & meatballs.. meatballs were so filling, in the end we ate 6 out of 8 meatballs.. haha.. dinner was zi char.. & we were like ordering 4 plates of dish. Dear commented dat he din know why he allowed me to order the 4th dish.. cos obviously it's toom much for us:)

Sun - Breakfast as usual eating porridge & dinner was at bt timah eating chees onion prata.. Dear had cheese prata & plain one.. later bought keropok back home to eat..haha.. abort the idea to eat ice cream at udders..so next time ba :)

A beginning of an End

Finally, dear called the "N" hotel to cancel the booking.. so we will be forfieting $3000 in all.. me heartache but no choice, it was a mistake solely made by me..

Was thinking of rushing things & I finally learn it by the painful way called: "Nong qiao fan zhuo". How long to save 3k?? A freaking 1 year, thats how it took me cos im earning such a miserable pay.. i really hope i tio 4D to cover my loss.. damn.. and the silly "travel agency".. i really hope that one day they go bankrupt & I dun need to pay anymore... shit!!! im bonded to them for 99 years loh... so shitty..

Lotsa mistakes made over the past 2 years.. sometimes i really hate myself for what I have done.. how can i be so stupid?!? On 1 hand, im thankful that i have learnt not to be impulsive when Im almost tempted to sign a bridal package at a bridal show, thanks to dear:) But how i wish that he was more assertive the 1st 2 times when i made the impulsive decisions.. we would have a substantial amt of savings by now... feel like crying everytime i think about it. :(

I truly hope that everything will start on a clean slate & everything will go smoothly from now on.. life... can be so complicated but i hope to see everything clearly this time round.. On a somber note, im glad to live through what I have for the past 28 years.. The death of someone staying in my block today & seeing his pair of slippers made me wonder what had caused him to end his life abruptly. If anyone is reading this, hope u can learn to live life happily.. health is always the most important, be nice to people around u & they will also learn to be nice too.. Slowly, treasure whatever u have, be it your parents, siblings, your career.. even doing your fav hobby as well.. may u be blessed always with happiness & good health:)

CNY of 2010

CNY is coming to an end.. so lets wrap the events so far..

CNY eve - went to eat at my parent's place then to my grandpa in law place to eat.
haha, this year my parents prepare teppanyaki with salmon, mushroom, & pork..yummy, the pork is really nice.. my sis even had round 2 the following day

Day 1 - went to grandpa in law place for visiting, its the last year im getting ang pows.. kinda sad actually.. next time i will be the one giving ang pows for the rest of my life! Later, went jalan to playground with meimei aka YH. Afternoon, spent at my ah ma place, had the mee sua that i can only eat once every year. so sadz.. At night, went to fourth uncle place & we just stay for a while before leaving

Day 2 - went to a buffet at YCK with dear, a fren that dear knew from a pub invited us over.. she's like my mom's age but she's really outgoing & look 10 year younger than her real age!! Had a great time drinking, were abit high after drinking red wine with Mr Loy, that silly guy keep winning me in poker, shitty..

Day 3 - went to my boss place for visiting. To my horror, I only saw that silly Mr B Y there. Luckily, he took off 5 mins after i rch, thank god. Think i will puke the food i eat if i stare into his face.. Dear had a long chat with boss & we left after 2.5 hrs later.. back at home ard 5 pm.. R&R and then had dinner...

Day 4 & 5 - spent rotting at home.. but im loving it!! tidy some stuff, n do some washing of clothes.. life is peaceful & im grateful for that :)

Day 6 - back to work, so sian that i took a cab to work.. duh.. its a friday & the office is so dead cos there's not much phone calls anyway

Day 7 - Had CNY buffet at office, saw barney the dog, he's so cute & I took some pics of him :)

Finally, went to RZ place for visiting, tot we will play cards but we end up watching Gong Xing Ji!! Haha.. i almost doze off cos really tired but keep having a headache.. end up i went back home at ard 6pm & slept for abt 2 hrs before gg down to buy KFC egg tarts (they are really yummy). Dear ate one oso..& I ate the balance two tarts on Monday. Thank god i din haf a tummy ache, haha :)

That's all for CNY 2010..phew..

First entry of 2010

Three weeks have past for the new year.. & well, all has been pretty smoothsailing (except for some " Xiao Ren".. (silly people)

Gonna expect baby showers this week n more housewarming in time to come..

Looking at the progress of me & dear's flat.. really discouraging.. the speed is so slow.. i cant even see the foundation work being done, haizzz..

Life is as usual.. nowadays.. jsut lazing at home after work.. & occasionally meeting up with frens during their birthdays ( everyone is so busy, i wonder y or is it jus me? haha...)

Well, till CNY.. may haf more updates ba..